I believe I started work on this little project sometime back in... September? My, but something simple can run into delays! (And maybe a little procrastination...)

If you’ve ever seen one of those “Locomotives of the World” posters, you’ll get the general inspiration behind this one... I thought it would be neat to show off the “trains” used in a few of the most popular videogames out there. There’s so little fanart of these things, you know...?

These were all drawn as closely to their 3-D counterparts as possible to emphasize their quirks and eccentricities— the only liberty I consciously took was to add a bell hanger to the top locomotive (originally, the bell floated in mid-air... blame N64 graphical capabilities ).


For the heck of it, I also wrote up a -short- biography of each machine, based on information provided in-game (so, minimal spoilers possibly included). From top to bottom:


Name: K64
Type: steam
Fuel: unknown
Whyte wheel arrangement: 0-6-2T
Owner/Operator: The Dry Dry Railroad Company
Game featured in: Paper Mario (N64, 2001)

In-game background: K64 regularly traverses a railroad line connecting the Mushroom capital of Toad Town to the arid Mt. Rugged, making it a necessary link in the journey to Dry Dry Outpost.

Analysis: K64 is both a locomotive and a complete passenger train in one, making it the only true “train” on this page! As a one-unit conveyance, passengers who take the train ride on the locomotive’s rear platform or in the cab with the engineer. The engine’s fuel source is unapparent, but its power appears to be provided by steam. This is indicated by the star-shaped white clouds emitted from the engine’s stack when it is underway.

K64 is particularly unusual in that its drive wheels are significantly smaller than its huge rear carrying wheels, giving it the appearance of a 6-2-0 to the casual observer. The star on the locomotive’s front, while a Mushroom Kingdom trademark as sure as the engine’s red paint, is reminiscent of real-life decorations found on steam locomotives hailing from India and Soviet-era Russia.


Name: Chuffy
Type: steam
Fuel: coal
Whyte wheel arrangement: 4-4-0T
Owner/Operator: Old King Coal
Game featured in: Banjo-Tooie (N64, 2000)

In-game background: The prized possession of “Grubby Boiler Monarch” Old King Coal, Chuffy was somehow involved in a catastrophic wreck in the depths of the Glitter Gulch Mine before being discovered and re-railed by an adventuring bear and breegull. Old King Coal, after being defeated by these two marauders in an epic firebox-housed battle, agreed to run his engine for the pair whenever they called upon his service. Thus, this stately old locomotive sees sporadic use all over the Isle O’ Hags’ extensive railroad line.

Analysis: As it carries its fuel in a bunker behind its cab, Chuffy is superficially a “tank” engine, though the exact location of its water tanks, if it carries any, is unclear. Chuffy is never seen without its accompanying “wagon,” a plain, four-wheeled wooden boxcar with a decidedly European design. Curiously, Chuffy is as American as it gets, save for a pair of buffers on its rear beam. The locomotive is remarkably realistic as far as conventional locomotive design goes, although it does carry an unusual boiler less a smokebox or steam dome. Chuffy gets huge props for being the only engine shown above with a fully-detailed cab interior and boiler backhead, right down to a pair of water gauges with British-style refraction stripes. Now THAT’s railroading!


Name: Engineer’s Car
Type: unknown
Fuel: unknown
Whyte Wheel Arrangement: N/A
Owner/Operator: The Excess Express
Game featured in: Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door (GCN, 2004)

In-game background: The Excess Express is a luxury, six-car passenger train that runs between the towns of Rougeport and Poshley Heights. It is staffed by a conductor, engineer, chef, and waitress who are known for their hospitality. In addition to the service, the meals served in the dining car are highly renowned and said to be quite worth the exuberant ticket fare.

Analysis: Externally, the train’s five passenger cars resemble huge versions of 19th century, 3-axle British coaches. The locomotive, however, is truly a subject on itself. The Excess Express’ “Engineer’s Car” (as Goombella describes it) must be one of the weirdest railroad creations seen in any videogame setting. It appears at first glance to resemble a modern streamlined steam locomotive, but a cockpit in the locomotive’s nose reveals the absence of a traditional boiler. In fact, the entire carbody is virtually empty. The locomotive sports no less than ten huge, cast iron wheels in varying sizes. The arrangement of these wheels mercilessly massacres the Whyte wheel classification system.

Between the locomotive’s empty engine room and complete lack of exhaust, theories as to its power source are extremely difficult to come by. Curiously, the highly reputable Professor Frankly refers to the Excess Express as a “steam engine excursion.” Goombella, his student, jokes that it might run on “golden oil.” The locomotive doesn’t produce the chuffing of a traditional reciprocating steam engine— rather, it produces an electric hum. The only sign of a power source inside the engine room is a collection of strange plumbing in the aft cab, which could, hypothetically, be a very compact oil-fired boiler/turbine/condenser system. If the locomotive produced electricity in this manner, there would be more than enough room under the carbody for electric traction motors to drive the wheels. But this system, even assuming it had a perfectly leak-proof steam circuit, would still produce some exhaust in the form of oil smoke. Alas for that.

Even more frustrating than trying to find the locomotive’s power plant is attempting to decipher its wheel arrangement. I find it tempting to believe that the smaller, side rod-connected wheels of the locomotive are powered, while the truly gigantic pair in the middle merely roll on the rails. This would follow in the tradition of K64, creating a continuity, however bizarre, in Mushroomian locomotive design. However, only the very rear set of wheels slips on the rails when the locomotive strains to start its train. Could the front set of wheels in fact be un-powered, despite the side rods connecting them? Or could ALL of the wheel sets be powered, with a different variable accounting for the variations in traction between them? Even the original theory is not disproven... but sadly, knowing which theory is correct is simply impossible.

Update: pointed out that direct-drive steam turbine locomotives very often utilized two steam turbines: one for forward operation, one for reverse. Thus, there is a substantial amount of evidence suggesting that the Express' locomotive is, in fact, a direct-drive turbine: the rear wheels would be used for forward motion (explaining both their slippage at start-up and their relatively large size) while the smaller front wheels would be used for reverse movements and merely coast when the engine travels forward. Thank you, Gattlin!



K64 and the Excess Express © Nintendo
Chuffy © Rare